Lights and Sound

September 15, 2008

One part of me wants to give up on this foolish living. The other half of my brain fights for some future. Whenever I start thinking that I’m “something” I’m usually (immediately) humbled by some thought or stupid thing I do. I’m not that great.

At times I want to think I’d like to be famous. To be recognized and “adored.” Foolish, fool-hardy, fool’s talk. I really don’t want that. Frankly, I don’t think I’d make that good of a famous figure – I’m shy, find it hard to connect with people I don’t know, and I continually mess up. I’m not worth idolizing.. not that any of our idols are.

It seems with the more skill I discover and develop I am, again, torn in two directions. One part of me is happy to finally be doing something, it’s great! The other half still tears my self-esteem to the dirt, it says I shouldn’t be here. Why should I be so blessed? I know tons of people so much better than I.

But I digress. What is fame, but a mere image that people create of another person in their mind. Humans putting other humans on pedestals, even though we all end up on the same level after the sun is asleep. Fame is but a flame, flickering high and dying away with the wind.

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